The Consolations of the Reign of God

Life is difficult and from time to time dark. Bad things happen. Stress builds up within, without. The four horsemen gallop it seems wherever they want to. I am so happy to have the gift of faith for it brings beauty in the midst of suffering, and the light of Christ shatters the darkness.

God reaches us by whatever means available. Thursday night I felt pressured by all the happenings in a big family and walked out after dark for a breath of fresh air. Walking up the hill towards the church, I remembered prayer. You know what I mean, I'm sure: turning and returning to God's love. As I praised the beauty of sparkling stars on a crisp winter afternoon, I hear children singing "Once in Royal David's City"-- as if I heard God nodding in response.

As I walked past the church, I looked in the windows. The children's choir stood in a small spot of light rehearsing, with music teachers hard at their blessed work on the dark afternoon. Receiving this gift, I turned back towards my own work, refreshed.

To me such moments come directly from God's loving providence.  These touches also symbolize that God is working God's purpose out; that despite the darkness, despite the horsemen, that as Dame Julian says, "all will be well and all will be well and all manner of things shall be well."

Thanks be to God for sending the Son and bringing us to this blessed season.

II Advent - Turning of Destiny

As the exiles languished in Babylon for 50 years in the 6^th century B.C.E., we also during these darkening days of 2011, may “pine in lonely exile” for the Advent of our Lord. 

For Judah, after fifty years spent longing for home, return from exile came as a shock. Instead of the paradise promised by the prophet Isaiah, the people found ruin and desolation. They celebrate their homecoming, they give thanks, they give thanks--but wow, things have really gone to hell! In Psalm 85, in the midst of thanksgiving, the community implores God's help again; and again they receive the promises.

The psalm has been called one of “turning of destiny.” A variation of the root “return” (shuv) occurs several times, beginning in v. 1 with, “turned our fortune back to the good” (shavta sh'vit). In v. 3, God has “turned back from” (heshivotha) anger and is immediately prayed to “restore us” (shuveinu, v. 4). In v. 6, the people pray to be “returned to life”(thashuv tchayyeinu), and v. 8 speaks of the people's “returning” (yashuvu) their confidence. We may see turnings implicit in the gracious embracings prophesied in the closing verses: truth, mercy, peace and justice, are all reconciled.

The conclusion gives a clue as to how these promises can come true: “Righteousness shall go before him” [v. 13].  As our own community turns to God, we'll see our destiny turn around. Through the efforts of faith restored, God's Kingdom will unfold.

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"Turn thou us, O Good Lord, and so shall we be turned.”" (1928 Book of Common Prayer, p. 62)

Isaiah 40:1-11; 2 Peter 3:8-15a; Mark 1:1-8

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Psalm 85 – Questions to Ponder

1.     Pray this psalm as part of the people returning home after exile. What were your hopes and dreams on the way to here? Among young and old, what are various feelings when confronting the reality of rebuilding this place that is supposedly "home"?

2.     How can mercy and truth, justice and peace, meet? Allow yourself to feel the tension in examples from your experience.

3.     Have you ever felt the Lord’s anger? What events made you aware of the consequences of your own sin? Has such a time been a turning point for you?

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Save Us, O Lord!

I Advent - Psalm Meditation 

Psalm 80——We Shall Be Saved

In this community lament, Israel appeals to God as ““Shepherd”” (roeh ), a name that recalls God's saving deeds of the Exodus (See Ps 77:20, Is 63:11). These verses follow the lament pattern: appeal for renewal; remembering what God first did to bring us into covenant; turning again from present darkness.

From our darkness we pray to be reconverted, beginning with an appeal for grace: ““God, lead us back and shine your face(s) and we shall be saved”” (elohim hashiveinu v'ha'er paneka'ka v’’ni vvashiah, v. 3). We accept our lostness and admit we cannot return by our own power.

From our darkness we pray to regain dignity [v. 6]. In failure and misfortune we have been tormented with feelings of humiliation: ““and our enemies mock us”” (v'oy’’veinu yilagu-lanu, v. 6). God's blessing will banish shame [v. 15].

From our darkness we pray together. We appeal in community lament. Our spiritual journey is more than just a private thing between the individual and God. We are led ““like a flock”” [v. 1].

We do not return alone.

©1997, Patricia Caplan Andrews; limited license to reproduce for use in licensed congregation only. Published by LeaderResources.

Anointed Lectio: There's Hope

Today's reading is Mark 16, the Day of the Resurrection, when the women found the stone rolled away and the tomb empty! I had almost forgotten the Vacation Bible School class where we teachers acted this out for the children and when Jesus was found alive they all cheered!

The vital reaction to the Good News is still with us! Christ is still alive with the teachers and kids in our parish.

I am thanking God that the Holy Spirit, who guides us into all truth (John 16:13) brought this into my remembrance. The Spirit will teach me everything and remind me of everything Jesus has shown and said to me. In this I will find the remedy for my frustration.

You know my frustration, Reader, surrounding the lukewarmness of preaching I have heard this summer. Today the scales fall from my eyes as I remember this frustration has been ongoing for 30 years of my own life--and since the earliest times in the life of the Church. I find the message to Laodicaea,  "since you are lukewarm I spit you out of my mouth!" (Rev 3:16) comforting in a way. Tepidity  has not stifled the Word. There have been beautiful Christians to fellowship with throughout.

Furthermore, Revelation continues: "I stand at the door knocking" (Rv 16:20). There is still hope the tepid and uncertain may open the door and invite the Lord to come in and eat together. Jesus may still be welcomed. The Good News may yet be preached and yet be cheered in the "big church."  Hallelujah!

Anointed Listener: The Apostolic Faith

There is a church that proclaims itself "a house of prayer for all people on the rock of the Apostolic faith." Whatever does that mean?

The "house of prayer for all people" excludes no one who is willing to "hold fast (the Lord's) covenant." (Isaiah 56:6). It does not mean "Come on in, whatever floats your boat!" It means, "Welcome, find rest for your soul," and uh-oh, wait for it: "Welcome, and hear the Good News of Christ!"

That last, less you miss it, is the Apostolic part.  Standing on the solid rock of Christ, Apostolic faith preaches the Good News.

The Apostolic faith has seen reality as our normal eyes don't see. Standing on this Rock, I have seen Love revealed, the Love that is stronger than death. I have seen phrases of Scripture glow with new Life, virtually leaping out of the text! I have seen Christ in fellow Christians, gathered as the People of God, the Church founded on the rock of the Apostolic faith.  Through the power of the Gospel I have seen the Lord Jesus; I have felt and handled this Mystery. I guess like all Christians, I must be called to be a disciple and apostle.

Our forebears, the early Apostles, you know the ones who got crucified upside down so that I could hear the Good News? They put together the Creeds, which are "guardians of the mystery" (Flannery O'Connor) that originated in Baptismal vows. The Apostolic faith in "one Lord, one faith, one Baptism" came through hundreds of generations to that community, those hands, who baptized me and marked me as "Christ's own forever!" I came into New Life mewling and puking, and the mature community took me up. The Church brought me and taught me until finally I could see. 

As a botanist can look at grass and see cells; and an astronomer look at the blue sky and see the planets and stars; the Apostolic faith by grace discerns the Holy Spirit brooding over a bent world "with ah! bright wings" (Hopkins). Oh, to be able to see it more clearly; oh to be a better Apostle!  Sometimes I'm half-blinded by the bentness of it all, but woe to me if I preach not the Gospel (Paul).

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Anointed Listener: In light of the Resurrection

I visited the Presbyterian church this a.m.; what a surprise to see the whole thing is still going on. I also felt surprised how deep a place within me responded. It was Youth Sunday, and I might have been one of those young worship leaders. The dressed-up women and men might have been my parents' friends, except for lack of ladies' white gloves!

The sermon text was Matthew 14:22-23: While Jesus was out by himself praying, the disciples started rowing in a boat and got caught in a bad storm. Jesus walked to them on the water calling, "It is I." After Peter gets out and doubts (Mt 14:30), Jesus chides the lack of faith. When he gets into the boat, the storm quiets down.

"There is tumult in this life," was the Reverend's message, "that's what is eternally true," and she centered her word around a lengthy plea for Somalia. "Maybe if we all put our mustard seeds of faith together we can help the tumult in Somalia." Perhaps hearing about this miracle will open faithful hearts to share.

But are miracles alone going to open our hearts? In Mark's version of this story the disciples' hearts were  hardened, even after Jesus climbed into the boat! "They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the loaves; their hearts were hardened (Mk 6:51-52)."  They didn't know who Jesus was. Elsewhere they had asked, "Who is he, that even the winds and the waves obey him?" (Mk 4:41; Cf, Lk 8:21, Mt 8:27)

"Understanding about the loaves" means realizing Who Jesus is. When Jesus took,  blessed, broke, and gave the loaves, he revealed he was the Anointed One, the long-prophesied Messiah.  When Jesus called to the disciples from the waves he said, "Ego eimi," "It is I" also meaning "I AM"--the name of God. As John's Gospel says, "I AM the Resurrection and the Life. I AM the Way, the Truth and the Life. "I AM HE, the one who is speaking to you now."

We know that now; and the disciples knew it by the time they were preaching the Gospels. After the Resurrection, after the coming of the Holy Spirit on Pentecost, they understood. Whether the doubting of Peter (Mt 14:30-31) or the hardening of the disciples' hearts (Mark 6:52), their storm story reflects back on misunderstandings later illuminated by the light of Jesus' rising from the grave!

We have to understand the miracles, indeed all the Gospel stories, in the light of the Resurrection, in the light of knowing Who Jesus is, in order for faith to grow in our hearts, the faith that will open our hearts to those suffering in the tumult of this life.

Someone is Drifting Away

I'm having not so much a crisis of faith as a crisis of church. At first I blamed myself for this reluctance to go on Sunday mornings. Bad me, I couldn't force myself to get dressed up and go to the uncomfortable place and see the dearly beloved and hear the tepid sermon and pray for a way to inject some Jesus into the situation. I prayed and prayed for the get up and go, literally. I thought about starting a ministry of small prayer groups. I thought if the sermon is so unpalatable, sign up to teach Sunday School. Too bad I'm old.

There's been time to have lots of thoughts because this frustration has been building for a while.

During summer vacation I attended my old church, whose lovely comfortable interior I had been missing; it took me exactly two weeks to get fed up with them, too. Last week yet another pastor I personally love preached yet another lukewarm, feel-good, psychology-based sermon.

While I was up there, I got together with 3 friends from the old, ardent prayer group, and they have left the Church due to these same frustrations--and they are now adrift. I had thought I was different, but maybe I'm not.

Back home at my computer, I read an article about the Church of England's concern they are losing members. Some of their clergy are doing wonderful outreach, though. "Jesus said to reach out to the poor." The article ended with a quote that even if there's no afterlife, the speaker would feel he had a meaningful life serving the poor.

Jesus is their role model, not their Lord and Savior! Clearly, that is why the Church is losing membership. For, "If a man's hope is in this life only, he above all men is to be pitied!"

Because the Church has drifted away from the truth of the Resurrection: "The one who believeth in me hath eternal life!!"

Because now the Episcopal Church near me wants to be a "spiritual home to all"--  all but those who bow to Jesus' name. I swear they all go to some clergy workshop where they're told not to mention Jesus too much! 

Because belief in eternal life through Jesus must mean you're  a) right-wing, anti-civil liberties fundamentalist or b) stupid.

And also because--I would like to add--that in all the weeks I've been missing services, the only personal communication received from the church has been a mailing about my pledge balance.

Retreat

I'm taking a retreat in the woods. No Internet, no TV: this automatically makes it a retreat. The Cowley Magazine came and gave me that idea. They devoted the issue to their Rule and had some original helpful guidelines for making your own Rule. My retreat will take place at a cottage I'm renting by a lake. Much effort and arrangement making to make it happen; but what a privilege. Other than feeling bereft without the radio and TV, I'm planning to enjoy the break.
The most original thing I already read in the magazine, a layman wrote he started by realizing he already had certain rules written on his heart. What is God trying to write there, what Love?
All I can think about is how Denny and I used to pray and sing hymns on our camping trips. We slept in tents like the Israelites did, but tomorrow I'll sleep in a lakeside cottage. I just think about sitting on that screen porch looking out on the lake. This is going to be a great retreat.

How the Church Began

In Vacation Bible School, three teachers dramatized this story for ages 3 - 10. You should have heard the cheering when the children found out Jesus had risen from the dead!!

(Setting the scene:  Have a cross ready and lay a blanket over one of the tables to represent Joseph of Arimathea’s tomb. Leave the blanket rolled up on one side until after Jesus’ body has been laid there. Have white cloths ready for Joseph and Nicodemus to wrap Jesus’ body for burial.)

This is a story about how the Church began.

(Gather the children in the “garden” on the carpet).

After the Last Supper, Jesus prayed all night, but the disciples fell asleep. (Ask children to pretend to snooze.) They woke up when soldiers came to arrest Jesus, and most of them ran away.

The next day, Jesus died on the Cross. (Hold up crucifix.)

Jesus’ Body is Laid in the Tomb.

After Jesus died, two friends named Nicodemus and Joseph carefully wrapped up his body and carried it to a tomb.  They rolled a big heavy stone in front of the opening.

(Joseph and Nicodemus place Jesus’ body and roll down the blanket making great grunting sounds because it is the stone. They exit stage left.)

Some women followed them and knew where Jesus’ body was buried. On Sunday morning they decided to put spices on his body. As they were walking back to the tomb holding their spices, they remembered the big rock in front of the tomb. It would be too heavy for them!

 “Who will roll away the stone?” they said.

(Meanwhile, from behind the table, the body has been removed and the cloths remain. While the women are talking among themselves, the blanket is pulled back so that the tomb is now open.)

The Resurrection.

When the women got there, the stone was already rolled away! and the tomb was empty!

Jesus was risen from the dead!

During the next few weeks, the risen Lord appeared to many people. He taught them about the Bible, and he ate with them. He told them, “You must wait in the city until the power from above comes down upon you.” [Lk 24:49]

But the friends of Jesus were scared. The same people who had been mean to Jesus started to be mean to the disciples. They didn’t want to stay in the city but they had to; so they hid.

Pentecost.

(Huddle the children together on the carpet.)

One morning when the disciples were gathered together behind closed doors, in fear of the mean people, a huge wind came among them.  (Make blowing sounds.) there was light, too; they saw flames over each other’s heads! 

They disciples weren’t afraid any more. They ran outside and began to tell about Jesus in many languages.  And that is how the Church began.

All together shout: “Thanks be to God!”

+++++++++++++++Pat Caplan Andrews 6/23/11

The Church Picnic

Father's Day, Trinity Sunday, and the day of the Church PIcnic: a wonderful spacious windy gathering of God's people on the beach.  The Lord embraces us in the gathering, and we feasted on the liturgy. God comes through in the word preached:  One plus one plus one equals One... yes, and the partiality of our knowledge of God, yes... the insufficiency of words, yes....

And further, the anointed listening brings the parent God who both reveals and also leads through such words! "When Ephraim was a child I loved him, and I taught her to walk with the leading strings of love... (Hosea)"

The words about God come from experience and also impart experience that is Love and also Wisdom. The Three-in-One is Father to the fatherless (Ps. 68) the Mother who gathers the chicks (Luke) as we first heard in God's Word.

The Spirit blew over us as we feasted on the Presence in the Sacrament--and then on the fried chicken and salads of the ladies of St. A's. After a while it thundered and the lifeguard made the children get out of the lake, and they cried. Then it started to rain, and we all ran for our cars.

Thanks be to God!

My Lent 2011

Good Friday with my daughter Karen was powerful. There was a real Lent and a real Easter Day; the grave has released its dead. Before I forget, here lies my reflection on Lent 2011.

It started OK with Ash Wednesday, and the next day I felt God's open arms of welcome. As time went on, my observances waned, and my learnings increased. Towards the end, a big depression came along, which thank goodness lifted off as I found a new purpose.

My new purpose, you'll laugh to learn, is not to burden my family. To that end, healthy habits et cetera.

The depression included a grief reaction to selling the Amherst house when the last paperwork was completed. I'm still resisting filing the tax papers away but that's just my normal paralysis of will. (Maybe next Lent??)

Two main learnings (God shows stuff perhaps not thought of when you adopt the original Lenten Rule):

One: re-learning that the key to answered prayer, healing, and perhaps even heaven itself is FAITH. How often do I pray for increased faith? As I increase faith, the corollary is increased realization of how little certainty we really have about all.

The other learning has to do with sugar, avoiding it. Trying to give it up for Lent, I was able to see part of the depression as "sugar blues." This realization came with the help of a N.Y. Times Magazine article. I felt better right away when I started to avoid sugar. God help me keep it up.

The observances of praying and reading Lenten books were moth-eaten; but I kept going back to them. Regarding writing about Lent--well, see for yourself on the blog. This entry reconstitutes the third, I believe. It also seemed that the commentaries I read were better than anything I might write, but oh well.

I'm consumed with self-consciousness, thinking this will seem silly to others--renouncing sugar, re-discovering FAITH, praying and writing imperfectly, and an other-directed worldly goal. Well, what if it does; it's truly me, without irony or wit.

A purpose of this blog section is to give an account of one woman seriously loving God and trying her imperfect best to follow Christ.

Bowed down by sin

Lent is spiritual combat and the evil guy has been winning too many rounds.
One of sluefoot's weapons is take your sins and pile them on top of you.
Yes, I am suffocating because of my sins.
Son asked me, "did you look in the mirror and say, 'I HATE YOU'?"
Yes just about. I look in the mirror and see my vile uncontrollable sin!
Because of it, I forfeit all rights.
Screwtape or maybe slugworm is emitting a foul choking dirty polluted fog.
But as for me, Lord, I turn to You who won the victory.
This morning I cry out for rescue.
Only You can reach through and drag me out
because of your Love, Lord, look not on my sin.
Drag me up and clean the mud out of my ears.
Set me in a higher place while changing my loathing to
Gratitude.
And I will thank you and day by day continue in prayer.
Amen.

Ash Wednesday

Thinking of Lents gone by: better Lents, faster Lents (running more swiftly the race, as the Apostle would say). Some big sacrifice Lents: times when we gave up caffeine--or alcohol--or TV!! I had seasons when I vowed to stop complaining (my besetting sin in addition to sloth and gluttony). Denny and I shared times of retreat, of vigils, and of flinging selves into Yahweh's arms. Thank God we did those Lents.

Today finds my soul stranded on the floe of old age drifting towards Thee, sloth and paralysis ascendant, and learning again, "Without Thee one is unable to please Thee" and, "Apart from me, ye can do nothing."

I wrote down my Lenten rule and shared it with a dear friend. "Our battle is not against flesh and blood..." again from St. Paul. Fellow Christians, put on God's full armor. (Ephesians six--look up!)

Who, me?

The scene at the burning bush is a call narrative. In a call narrative, the one who is called typically raises objections. As Mary said, at the Annunciation, "How can this be?"

When God called Moses, he objected: "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and I should bring children of Israel out of Egypt?"

In other words, "Who, me? ("mianoki"?)

How did God answer him? Not by saying, "You are somebody special," or even by saying, "Yes, you!"--but by saying, "I will be with you" ("echveh immach").

Moses' question I think was not so much a question as an expression of doubt. God's answer is an assurance of God's doing it.

And the sign? That the people will serve God on this very mountain. When the people stand there worshipping they themselves are the sign it was God who did it.

We people of God descend from those very ones. Our very worship confesses that God brought us here. As a Catholic folk hymn expresses:

"Yours as we stand at the table you've set
Yours at we eat the Bread our hearts can't forget
We are the sign of your life with us yet
We are yours, we are yours."


Every time we stand there, it's because we have been called to worship. Our presence is the sign that God brought us.