How Would Jesus Feel

I'll tell you: frustrated. There's ample testimony that he did. And sometimes in my small way (one must disclaim) I share that feeling. I'm talking about certain groups of disciples, not you, nobody reading this I'm sure. As Paul would say, Oh the beautiful depths the full richness of God! Oh how I long to open these riches and share my experience of light coming through the text of Scripture. But recently some kind of hardness prevented it.

Imagine you sat down with a group of people that say they want to learn more about geography. They glance at the maps and and quickly flip the pages. If you try to get them to pause and study one, you can't get a word in edgewise, the people are talking, they are telling YOU that Scotland is in Canada.

That doesn't happen with geography past age 15 anyway. But with Scripture everyone's an expert. Jesus you often tore your hair out, "How long must I put up with this generation!" Your disciples were dolts sometimes and missed the point and misunderstood and misapplied.

Had I gone on speaking this way, to quote Psalm 73, I would have missed the point. I asked God, why do people not receive your revelation? And then I remembered the parable of the sower. There are the hard paths and the birds who come down to take away the seed. But in spite of all their misunderstandings, Jesus kept on talking to them. So I guess that means I have to go back.

Per Mixta

Watching Obama speak to the UN while praying at the computer: the modern equivalent of "Bible in one hand, newspaper in the other."

Here is the Collect for Peace: "Eternal God, in whose perfect Kingdom no sword is drawn but the sword of righteousness, no strength known but the strength of love: So mightily spread abroad your Spirit, that all peoples may be gathered under the banner of the Prince of Peace, as children of one Father, to whom be dominion and glory, now and forever."

St. Augustine wrote "The City of God," a big book in which he contrasts the world's kingdom with the Kingdom of God, explaining that we live in "per mixta," an overlap of the two. We here pray, "Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done." Now, in Obama's speech, calling for this generation to rise to the big challenges environmental, political, and nuclear, are we seeing the Kingdom trying to break in here?

I hope and pray so. The whole idea got me reading T.S. Eliot, who is blowing me away. "...But to apprehend/ The point of intersection of the timeless/ With time,, is an occupation for the saint--/ No occupation either, but something given/ And taken, in a lifetime's death in love,/ Ardour and selflessness and self-surrender...." ("The Dry Salvages," part V)

Not just to apprehend, but to effectuate, this we all may devoutly hope.

If I'm Already Dead

Years ago I read a wonderful short story called "I'm really dead." A youngish mother collapsed and died on the stairs while bringing in the groceries, but her family wouldn't let her alone. They kept making her get up to drive them places and to get them food. She kept snapping at them, "Leave me alone, I'm dead!!"

Can't remember how it turned out.

Anyway, at my age I have the reverse problem. Immersed in large family doings of adult children and young grandchildren I often feel my wisdom should be exerted on their behalf and my management skills deployed to their everlasting benefit. Then I have to remind myself, hey they'd have to work it out for themselves if I were already dead.

Of course if I were, they'd have my money to help them but never mind about that. The point is, when I think of how they would have to manage without me, I feel an opening in my chest, a relaxing.

Is this what is meant by "laying my burden down."

Now don't get upset anybody, I find when I share thoughts such as these people misinterpret.

Dearer than Gold and Silver

Ps. 119:72
"The law of your mouth is dearer to me
Than thousands in gold and silver."

I worry about money, shifting it around mentally. With no job, a son to support, and housing to keep up--well, it's anxious making. Each day I repeat, "Mei Merimnate," "Don't Worry"--Jesus' command/suggestion/reassurance. Each day I "turn it over"--and I have to say I haven't yet run out (of money).

Toay's Psalm gives a new perspective. "The law of your mouth is dearer to me" causes me to remember, "The body is more than clothes and life more than food."

Dear Lord, forgive my fears. Once again--today--this hour--now--I put my life and finances in your hands.
Amen

The Words of Life

WORDS OF CHRIST THAT COMFORT

"I have come that you might have life and have it abundantly.

"Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

"It is I; do not be afraid.

"My son, your sins are forgiven.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

"I tell you, ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened for you."

"She who has been forgiven much loves much."

In the crazy world, I feel so grateful I know where to turn. As I get older so much deeper goes the meaning of "My Rock, My Fortress, My Haven." I flee to prayer, flee to the Word. God is a very present help in trouble.

Preparing the Feast

Proverbs Chapter 9:

I always think of this part of Proverbs when Sunday School is about to open.
Wisdom has spead her table. She has set up her classrooms, purchased her markers, her paste and glue. She has ready the books of holy stories. Wisdom has planned songs and games to gather her children.

Wisdom will provide large helpings of the true bread--your lifelong prayers, your church family that will carry you, the Scriptures to guide you by light of Holy Spirit fire.

Ethel Waters stepping before a Billy Graham audience, embodying Lady Wisdom herself: "Hello, my babies!"

I Can't Keep Up

The history of the Christian church sometimes seems a history of division and schism. One recent big one is the Anglican Church in North America, which claims 100,000 Anglicans in 700 parishes within 28 dioceses (and dioceses-to-be) to become the 39th province in the worldwide Anglican Communion. These churches come from dioceses of Fort Worth, Pittsburgh, Quincy and San Joaquin; the Anglican Mission in the Americas; the Convocation of Anglicans in North America; the Anglican Network in Canada; the Anglican Coalition in Canada; the Reformed Episcopal Church; and the missionary initiatives of Kenya, Uganda, and South America’s Southern Cone. Additionally, the American Anglican Council and Forward in Faith North America are founding organizations (Numbers taken from the web site of Christ Church in Hamilton and Wenham, MA).

Let's see, there was the Prayer Book Society begun back in the '70s, who don't like the 1979 Prayer Book or the ordination of women. Many within the regular Episcopal Church also opposed women's ordination and were allowed to, on a diocese by diocese basis. Then along came the gay marriage/ordination argument which I believe is driving the current schism. That is, according to my friend Doc, who keeps up with these things, the ACNA ordains women (though so far no women bishops) and they use the 1979 Prayer Book. Therefore, the uniting principle of these current dissident groups appears to be homophobia.

But I believe there is more to it, and that is that the Episcopal Church in the United States I believe for some time has been weakened by a failure to preach Christ crucified. We have lost our fear of God and reverence for ancient truths. We have quarreled over stupid things. We have got distracted over church dynamics and have adopted the goal-setting success theology of the secular world. We don't believe in the Resurrection, and our priests lazily misquote the Bible, or glibly dismiss it. Our ignorance is astonishing, and that is why the schismatic groups appeal.

I can't keep up with the quarrels and doctrinal dispute--all occurring alongside quests for ecumenism (e.g., the Revised Common Lectionary). I have personally gotten fed up with the Episcopal Church (numerous times!) but could not change to a church based on anti-gay doctrine. Better, I suppose, to remain with the organization founded on a king's wish to divorce. I know love and pray with Christians on both sides. And can only tell you the riven and distressed Church did manage to bring me the Gospel, and it has been my mission field.

If anybody reads this, I await your comments.